October 17, 2021

What Singing Can Teach A Writer About Showing Up

“I’m excited to stop shipping essays!”

The truth? I didn’t wanna write today that I blurted that in exasperation. So I put writing off for hours and hours.

I watched too many Virgin River episodes, stared at the raindrops on our aloe vera in the front porch, and sang karaoke with my aunt from lunch till afternoon.

While singing, I noticed how I got better at hitting the notes of my favorite tunes from Olivio Rodrigo’s SOUR album (*humble brag*). I’ve been listening to her songs and singing along—off-key—since the start of June, so when I felt more comfortable and confident singing them, I was delighted.

Then it hit me.

Singing off-key and off-beat and forgetting the lyrics are normal when practicing a new song. But the more you repeat it from verse to chorus to bridge to the ending — no matter how embarrassing that might feel and sound, the more you get in tune with the right rhythm and slide smoothly through every note.

Showing up is just like that.

There are moments where you have to drag yourself, push yourself, trick yourself into showing up even when it’s uncomfortable and icky and awkward. But the more you do it, the more you develop trust in yourself.

You’ll then come to a point where you don’t wanna break that trust.

So you show up.

Again and again and again.

This is an #atomicessay originally published in July for #ship30for30.

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