24: On Losing Oneself

For the past 6 months, I've been wandering in a personal wilderness.

If 20-year-old me gets the chance to talk to me today, I'm pretty sure she would be stunned, saddened, and greatly disappointed.

"What the hell am I doing?"

Ever asked yourself that?

I often hear our youth is our chance to explore, get lost in it all, and learn from both the wins and losses. It's the time to be carefree because it isn't as risky yet—at least compared to when you age and start to carry bigger responsibilities on your shoulders.

Yet I can't shake this feeling that I should have figured out my life by now.

That I should've learned not to repeat history.

That I should've known the right words to say, the right choices to make, and the right actions to take.

That I should've stopped making mistakes by now.

Yet here I am, still lost. Still unsure. Still hurting. Still struggling to forgive me for all the stumbles.

Will life ever get better and more stable after going through the emotional rollercoaster of a quarter-life crisis?

I hope so.

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