The Secret to Keeping Promises Might Be In Your Tendency

“How do I get people — including myself — to do what I want?”

If you have always wondered the same thing, welcome to the club. Credits to Gretchen Rubin for capturing what we’re going through!

You and I know it can be frustrating convincing people to do something just to find them doing the exact opposite — or absolutely nothing. Even more so when the person you can’t convince to act is you.

And for so long I have stopped trying to understand myself. I have accepted that maybe I’m just stubborn and difficult and insanely annoying. I thought I was just born this way and I could do nothing to change it. #fixedmindset

But then I couldn’t live with the uncomfortable feeling of settling with that excuse.

Thankfully, I found this amazing resource: The Four Tendencies (affiliate link) by Gretchen Rubin. Here’s the excerpt that gave me clarity:

“We all face two kinds of expectations — outer expectations (meet work deadlines, answer a request from a friend) and inner expectations (keep a New Year’s resolution, start meditating).

Our response to expectations determines our “Tendency” — that is, whether we fit into the category of Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, or Rebel.

Knowing our Tendency can help us set up situations in the ways that make it more likely that we’ll achieve our aims. We can make better decisions, meet deadlines, meet our promises to ourselves, suffer less stress, and engage more deeply with others.”

Quick Summary:

• Upholders want to know what should be done.
• Questioners want justifications.
• Obligers need accountability.
• Rebels want freedom to do something their own way.

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